笑话1:
阿呆在北京的胡同里捡到了一盏灯,他擦了一下灯,说道:“谁把灯扔这儿啦?”
这时灯神出现了,微笑道:“我可以满足你一个愿望,你说吧!”
阿呆兴奋地喊道:“我要一套房子,五环内的。”
灯神脸一黑:“你太贪心了,我tm要能给你房,我还住灯里干啥?”
笑话2:
带着现任女友走在路上,碰到了前女友,很尴尬啊!
我急忙给前女友介绍说:“这是你嫂子。”
接着女友说:“这位是?”
前女友赶话说:“我以前是你嫂子!”
笑话3:
我没有酒精过敏,也就是说,一旦没有酒精就过敏。
笑话4:
be careful what you wish for
a couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.
during the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
the wife wanted to travel around the world. the fairy waved her hand, and boom! she had the tickets in her hand.
next, it was the husband‘s turn. he paused for a moment, then said shyly, "well, i‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."
the fairy picked up her wand, and boom! he was ninety.
慎重许愿
一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。
庆祝活动中,一位仙女出现了。她说,由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻,因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。
妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“!”的一声,她的手中出现了一张票。
接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻,害羞地说,“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。”
仙女拾起了魔术棒。“!”,他变成了90岁。
笑话5:
姐姐家有一窝小狗,你抱了一只漂亮的叫笑脸;我抱了一只丑的叫屁屁。一年后,你的笑脸和我的屁屁长的一样一样的。不仔细看,分不清谁是谁了。
笑话6:
妈妈出差,爸爸做饭。一天,儿子问:爸爸,中午吃什么饭?爸爸:现在没做完,谁知道是糊的、夹生的还是熟的?
名言
你从没见过一个忙碌的人不快乐。
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《寄李十二白二十韵》唐代:杜甫昔年有狂客,号尔谪仙人。